xillegiblemessx

holy hell.

Thu, 29 Dec 2005 07:15:23 GMT

havnt updated in how long?

a long ass time.

it's almost a new year. i have a lot to look forward too.

matthew and i are good and gone FOREVER. thank god. i am so sick of bullshit in my life that he caused. and now i'm finally free from it all. pathetic boy.

my life is good. i'm single and i'm hella having fun. i'm meeting new people/boys. and it's great. i've gotten close to old friends again and i wouldnt trade my life for the world right now.

i just like having fun. i am care free. life couldnt be better.

Wed, 24 Aug 2005 07:37:01 GMT

oh shit i havnt written in my livejournal in how many months? geeze. no more dating matthew. 11 1/2 months all for nothing. dating a new boy ryan. license. got a job at great harvest bakery. senior this fall. counseling. nordstrom fashion board. soccer.

new best friend mollie. who i love to death.

Fri, 28 Jan 2005 15:44:31 GMT

my art final is turning out hot. i'm finishing it today. English final was easy. today i have my history final. i studied for an hour and a half last night. and this morning for about 40 minutes. asdfi .

I'm so afraid for math. no one will understand that.

i finished Marina's tote that she asked me to make. it looks really nice. theres a dinosaur on it with a bunch of hearts and it says ROAR.

yeah yeah i know i'm creative. bow down.

♥ ♥ ♥

Thu, 27 Jan 2005 15:21:32 GMT

Well, as i said i believe i aced my info tech final. so i get an A+ in the class if i did so. i'm so worried about my biology final. i totally messed up on my lab part of the exam. i put the reagants in too many test tubes... because i thought i had more things to test than one. darn!

I have an 81% without the final on my grade. i'm so afraid. i will NOT get a C in any class.EVER. B's are even terrible for me. i want A's!!!!!

Art final and English final today....

oh well life goes on.

Matthew came to school and waited for me outside my classroom door. these two faggots kept being like beth is that your boyfriend?! blah blah. it pissed matt off and so he flipped them off when they opened the door to try and talk to him. then they tried again so he kicked the door and it hit Noel in the face. i'm so proud of my baby! what a nice boy. haha

I'm wearing the lippy gloss Mallory sent me for christmas. i absolutely love the color. it's my tied for first with my benefit gloss. they're my favorites! thankyou baby! ♥

Wed, 26 Jan 2005 16:38:39 GMT

i just aced my info tech final bitches

Wed, 26 Jan 2005 15:19:39 GMT

i have my info tech and biology final today. i'm so afraid for my bio one. i think i'll fail. i dont understand science. i never have.

Matthew is picking me up from school today. it's so nice. he waits outside my classroom for about 10 minutes and i can see him out the door. it makes me laugh.

i changed around all my classes to get lunch with Matthew. so i'm happy. the only downside is i have a different period for biology so i'm not with rachel and alyssa and cameron anymore. i also switched english classes because mine was a joke.

things couldnt be any better.

Tue, 25 Jan 2005 16:18:55 GMT

past two days = perfect

I ♥ Matthew

Thu, 20 Jan 2005 15:27:16 GMT

happy 5 months to who???? ME!

that's right. i'm excited. i bought matthew a flower. and i'm making him a card.... i cant wait for 6 months... i want to get him hella shit!

i made a tote last night with Matthew. it turned out pretty! all of my school supplies fit in it so now i can take it to school. i've already got compliments on it and what?! school hasnt even started. what can i say....i'm just that cool ♥

Matthew and i are gunna go out for teriyaki and maybe a movie. i'm not sure. i want cuddle time the most!

yayayayay! i'm so happy!

Wed, 19 Jan 2005 15:26:44 GMT

oof. tomorrow is my five month anniversary. it's pretty exciting if you ask me! ♥

I'm meeting with Patti this evening at 7. It will be fun. i love her. i dunno what we're gunna do. but we'll think of something!

next weekend i'm going to visit my cousins! i'm so excited. i love them dearly. they're my beautiful darlings!

i have to work on my power point presentation today while Matthew is at my house. i'm gunna feel like such a tird. but tomorrow is the anniversary ya know and i'm not gunna work on it then. PLUS i'm gunna be out late with Patti. this is the only chace i've got to work on it.

My mom ordered my shoesies from urbanoutfitters today. http://www.urbanoutfitters.com/shopping/product/detailmain.jsp?itemID=6991&itemType=PRODUCT&iMainCat=121&iSubCat=1140&iProductID=6991 go take a look i'm getting the white ones.

i thought about the purple... because i love purple. but i figured i could find cuter purple shoes out there!

anywho. i'm missing Mallory like whoa. i dont want to wait like 5 or 6 months to see her! it's so horrible.

my hair is annoying me so bad today. it looks horrid. i want to just chop it all off....

actually i'm thinking about doing a fashion hawk. i'm gunna have to search around for a cute do that wont make me look like a boy. because i still want the length on the sides.. i just want it more up i geuss on top? yes. thats what i want!

♥

Tue, 18 Jan 2005 15:29:51 GMT

one thing i'm very thankful for... Martin Luther King day.

no school yesterday. perfect.

anywho my weekend was a lot of fun. i didnt get the job at coldstone though which is REALLY stupid because i totally should have. no one there was outgoing at all! besides Lealia, Rachel and I. we dont understand... but if we go down.. we go down together!

i had so much fun with Megan MORACHE. i love youuuu. thanks for coming over. i love that dumb movie Sleepover. it was amazing. i cant believe they showed a little bit of buttcrack though!

The ride to seattle was fun on sunday. Cyndi and i talked to whole time about lots of things. the first thing she said to me when i got in her car was "so how'd you make it? the whole weekend without Matt. i bet he was dieing" haha she's so cute.

today i have a dentist appointment. i hope i dont have any cavitees *sp*

Fri, 14 Jan 2005 15:28:59 GMT

I have an excused absence for noon today. heck yes. Cyndi *Matthew's mother* is picking me up at school and then we're going to go get Matthew from the skills center AND THEN off to the train station in Seattle. my mom is letting me see him off, so that makes me happy. His train leaves at 1:45. He'll be home sunday evening. That is a LONG time to go without him, but i'm hanging out with my girlies this weekend so that will be nice.

When i get home from Seattle, I have a Coldstone "audition". I'm gunna ask Lealia if she wants to come to my house before it, and then we'll go together. We have to dance. It will be hella sick.

After that.... spending the night at Elise's with Megan!!! We're all excited... it will be super fun!

Saturday....spending the day with my bestest best friend MEGAN MORACHE! how wonderfull! then sunday.. i dunno what i'm gunna do. maybe hang out with Patti. I love her. She's like my counselor kinda. She goes to my church. she's 32 and the prettiest woman I have EVER seen.

anywho. I might meet Matthew again at the train on sunday but it all depends...

On another note, Tasha called me yesterday at school!! Her and Tiffany wanted Rachel and i to come visit this weekend. But as I just explained above, I'm really busy. SO next weekend hopefully. Tash and Tiff are SO beautiful. GEEZE. I love my cousins so much!

I LOVE MALLORY!!!!!
I CANT WAIT FOR THIS SUMMER I'M FREAKING OUT!!! <333

Wed, 12 Jan 2005 15:31:03 GMT

my eyeball hurts. gah. how poopy : (

i wanted it to snow last night because i wanted a 2 hour delay for school but NO it didnt.

Matthew leaves for oregon on friday for the weekend. my mom said i can get an early dismissal from school and go with him to the train station and say goodbye. i've never gone this long without seeing him. let a lone a day.. this is a weekend!! i see him every single day. for the past almost 5 months. how depressing.

i lost 10 cents out of my mer mer purse for my lunch money. oh well.

1 minute till school starts. <3

Tue, 11 Jan 2005 15:32:09 GMT

I HATE ice at school. ASEFHSIOFH

Mon, 10 Jan 2005 17:23:41 GMT

I love playing in the snow with my Matthew. I had so much fun!
i killed our snowman. he was ugly.

oh man it was so funny. me and matt we're going outside to get in the hottub... and matt's like what the... theres a dog in your yard. and i was like what the crap! it was scary. and then this man comes in our yard and starts yelling at the dog. and he wasnt wearing shoes! in the snow!!! and then his dog went into rosey and dinosaur's kennel and he was about to go in there and i was like "theres poop in there! you can wear my shoes!!" but he didnt. i thought he was gunna step in some. but anyways. he got his dog back safe and sound.

i found it hilarious.

matt likes to clap in dairy queen drive thrus.. oh man.

YES!

Fri, 07 Jan 2005 15:28:03 GMT

thank God!!! my alg 2 trig grade is up to a 90%!!!! A- baby! that makes me happy. i want all A's at the end of this quarter... however i doubt i'll get it for bio. but i can try right?! yes that is right. Cameron Howard Jiles and i totally fucked up our lab yesterday in biology. suck. oh well.

did anyone realize... IT'S SNOWING!!!!! i'm so excited. it better snow a lot cause i want to play in it and build a snowlady!

Wed, 05 Jan 2005 15:33:25 GMT

my baby comes to school with me on the 31st. semester ends the 28th.. but thats a friday...so i get to spend the whole weekend with Matthew and then who do i get to see bright and early? Matthew. i'm such a lucky girl!

spent the night at alyssa'a. we watched troy. brad pitt is sooooo fine. oh goodness. i want his thighs.

Mon, 03 Jan 2005 15:26:49 GMT

with a new year... comes new morals, thoughts and dreams. we've made up our minds and we're going for it this time.

worst week ever.
but everything is turning out to be beautiful in the end.

1st day of school back. i dont want to be here. Matt joins me in a month at cascade. i'm so happy and thankful for that.

Fri, 17 Dec 2004 15:42:36 GMT

last night was interesting with matt. i as having a hard day. i kept feeling more and more stressed about the weekend and i had feelings come back to me that i couldnt deal with at the same time. i couldnt help crying. i felt like a moron. but we talked things through and everything is ok. i appreciate him so much. if something ever goes wrong, which isnt very often, we can talk about it and everything is so much better when the conversation is done. i love him so much.

tonight we're going to see the new lemony snicket movie. i'm so excited. i've been wanting to see it for months!! ever since i saw the previews. anywho. i think its exciting!

last day of school. im so excited. what a great day!!

Thu, 16 Dec 2004 16:20:07 GMT

alyssa gave me the cutest presant in the world.

i want to dye my hair differently.

the wedding made me a tad uncomfortable but i was proud of matt and conor's friend for doing the right thing.

on the way home i saw brandon at taco bell. i havnt seen him since camp. we were in the drive thru and he was the drive thru boy and when we pulled up and he handed us our food he was like "beth?!" and so i talked to him for a bit. he told me he still had my number and would call me sometime. that seemed a bit akward since my boyfriend was in the car. but matt asked me about him and i told him he's a nice guy. which he is.

anyways i'm at school. and my class gets out in 2 minutes.

but i'm happy. kristi turns 21 today. i hope she gets crunk. i will laugh. also its rachel's and camerons 4 month anniversary. so happy anniversary!!!

Wed, 15 Dec 2004 16:08:59 GMT

making resumes. gay. info tech is boringggggggggg.

going to a wedding tonight. with conor and matt. their friend is getting married and so i geuss i'm going.

i brought cameron and alyssa's christmas presants to school today because we're exchanging gifts. cameron is gunna freak out about his shirt. it's so tight.

friday is a half day. praise God. christmas break=heaven.

Tue, 14 Dec 2004 15:41:54 GMT

goodness. when i see almost the exact thing happening to someone else, that happened to me. my heart goes out to that person. i want to help, i really do. but i dont think it's my place. poor dear.

on another note... last night went wonderfully. matt and i did good on the birthday dinner. his mom was so happy. it made me feel good to do something nice that really made her day. and mariah was happy with the roses we picked out for cindy. it's put me in a good mood all evening and this morning. i hope it lasts.

stopped by megan's on the way home. her dartboard is the coolest thing in the world. i was so happy to see her. she is my one and only lady.

thanks to rachel for buying me the cutest scarf in the world.

heck yes for boredom

Mon, 13 Dec 2004 16:16:45 GMT

Body: in f o r m a t i o n
1. name: beth emily brockerman
2. single or taken: Taken
3. sex: Female
4. birthday: august 30, 1988
6. siblings: kristi 21 on the 16th. jacob 18. rachel 16.
7. hair color: blonde/teal
8. eye color: green
9. shoe size: 8-8 1/2
10. height: 5'6''

r e l a t i o n s h i p s
1. who are your best friends? megan morache and matthew fuller
2. do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: matthew fuller

f a s h i o n s t u f f
1. where is your favorite place to shop: nordstrom
2. any tattoos or piercing: ears. no tattoos.

s p e c i f i c s
1. do you do drugs?: not anymore.
2. what kind of shampoo do you use?: kiwi.
3. what are you most scared of?: being alone.
4. who is the last person that called you?: matt.
5. Where do you want to get married?: in a church?....
6. what would you change about yourself?: thats a sad question. i could care less.

f a v o r i t e s
1. color: teal and pink
2. food: how about coffee..even though that is a drink
3. boys names: howard...haha just kidding. i dont know
4. girls names: i dont know damnet.
5. subjects in school: art and history
6. animals: giraffe
7. sports: if i had to chose...softball.

h a v e y o u e v e r
1. given anyone a bath?: how about a shower? if so then yes.
2. smoked?: Ya
3. bungee jumped?: no. i'd die.
4. made yourself throw up?: when drunk yes.
5. skinny dipped?: nope.
6: ever been in love?: currently and will stay forever.
7. made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: yes. haha
9. actually seen your crush naked?: haha yes. i got him naked the first time i met him. haha like ashlyn said...no one will get that. oh well.
10. cried when someone died?: ofcourse.
11. lied: yes.
12. fallen for your best friend?: maybe when i was elementary school and middle school. brendan o'neill all the way!!! he was a cutie.
13. been rejected?: nope.
14. rejected someone?: yes.
15. used someone?: yes. sorry.
16. done something you regret?: definitely.

c u r r e n t
clothes: gap slimfits. black flats. deathcab shirt. poofy furry hooded coat... i wonder if the other beth is wearing MY FUCKING COAT TODAY? what a dumbass..
music: the sounds of freshmen talking.. gay.
make-up: yes.
annoyance:freshmen.
desktop picture: the school background
book youre reading: harry potter and the order of the pheonix.
in cd player: nuttin.
in dvd player: nuttin.
color of toenails: red with sparkles because i'm festive!!

l a s t p e r s o n
hugged: matthew.
you imed: megan
you yelled at: probably rachel
you kissed: matthew
a r e y o u
understanding: i would believe so
open-minded: yup
arrogant: no
insecure: not really. i dont think i am.
interesting: i believe so.
random: yeah. i tell stories that usually suck ass.
hungry: nope. alyssa made me toast for breakfast!
smart: yes. but exclude math and biology. b and b+. i suckkkk
moody: only when the red time comes.
organized: no way.
shy: no. just not loud.
difficult:no

attractive: depends on what you like. my mom tells me i'm purdddy. so then yes. hahaha
bored easily: no.
messy: yes
obsessed:no.

r a n d o m
In the morning i: am tired
love is: special

o p p o s i t e s e x
what do you notice first: hair/eyeballs
last person you slow danced with: no idea.
who makes you laugh the most: matt and cameron howard jiles
who makes you smile? friends
who do you have a crush on: my boyfriend.. that would make sense
who has a crush on you: oh god a bazillion people.

d o y o u e v e r
sit on the internet all night waiting for that someone special to im you? no way.
wish you were a member of the opposite sex?: no. i like virginia.
wish you were younger: nope
cry because someone said something about you?: if it hurts my feelings then yes.

n u m b e r
of times i have had my heart broken: By boys? once.
of hearts i have broken: 1. maybe 2. i have no idea. and i feel like a bitch now. stupid question.
of cds i own: enough.

wow i'm cool.

Mon, 13 Dec 2004 15:41:38 GMT

at school with nothing to do. 45 minutes of boredom. heck yes. my cold is still vivid. it's getting old...

today is cindy's birthday. (matt's mother)
matt and i made her a cake last night. chocolate. we're making her dinner tonight at my house and then taking it over to have a birthday dinner. chicken parmajan. *sp* ceasar salad. rolls. and cake. i think we're making something else, but i cant remember. so thats my duty for after school today.

i spent the night at alyssa's last night. we made sugar cookies for cameron for his christmas presant. along with the shirt from the gap. we made one of us and him and then rachel and trina...haha. if only people knew.... so that was fun.

my nose is annoying me. i want to get better!! oh well.

oh what to do...

Fri, 10 Dec 2004 15:31:36 GMT

i'm sick. and i'm at school. first period starts in 4 minutes. i dont want to be here....

yesterday was nice. i didnt feel good all day so matt and i just cuddled and watched muppets christmas carol together. he's so sweet. everytime i was too lazy to move, he'd pick me up off of the floor and put me back onto my bed and put my covers over me. what a sweetheart huh? i love him so dearly.

i finished the picture i drew him for christmas. i think it turned out pretty well. but i'm never a fan of my own artwork, so i showed it to megan and lobe, and they both liked it. so hopefully matt will as well.

i'm excited for this afternoon/evening. me, matt, ashlyn, and riley are going to get our santa pictures at the mall! ashlyn and riley are matching outfits and so are matt and i. it will be cute!!! then they're dropping me off at my church and i'm serving for our christmas desert theatre. it will be tighttttt. i love doing that every year. i like the people at my church, especially the old ones cause they're such sweet loving people and are nice and fun to talk to! then i'll come home and sleep the night away! hopefully i'll feel better in the morning... something to look forward to right?

<3

Wed, 08 Dec 2004 15:54:54 GMT

it's good to be happy.